Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Prayer Request, please!

I am a mess right now. I know I will make it through the night only because I love God. I am tired and frustrated and upset. I can't say about what. I just am. I can't stop crying, and my head feels like it is going to explode.

I am making an appointment for some sort of counsel tomorrow.

Bitterness and unforgiveness only does one thing and that is rip people apart.
I can't take it anymore. I really can't. I am broken.

I guess I'm O.K.

Yesterday I set my alarm for 8 a.m. At 7:14 a.m., the dogs decided I'd had enough sleep. Who needs an alarm clock? LOL

I tried my best to wake up, let Daisy and Rocky out and then took Mollie outside to do her business and tried to run around with her a little, but it was just too cold to stay out very long. I was wearing a nightgown, jacket, snowboots and was wrapped in a blanket. I must have looked quite adorable to the early crowd driving down the street. I live on a main street, so I am hardly anonymous when I go out like this. I wonder what people think when they see me, and yes, they do know where I live. LOL

I had planned to try and make a woman's Bible study at 9:30 and was leaving just about in time to barely get there ontime. One of these days, I will remember that in the winter I have to allow time to scrape ice off my car. I got out the scraper and realized there really was no ice on the outside of my windows. It was all on the inside. Sunday I had a leak in my car somehow. My husband did me a favor the night before and warmed my car up. I think that just increased the humidity inside the car even more. So the ice froze inside my window. Let me tell you that scrapers do not work on the inside. At any rate, I finally cleared a spot and headed out to the study. It was in progress when I arrived, but I enjoyed the fellowship. The topic was probably pretty pertinent to me, as it dealt with being surrendered to Christ. IT's right to the heart of the matter.

I had a few nice conversations with some of the ladies at the church, one of whom was a nurse and she and I talked about my surgery and she assuaged a few concerns.

Afterwards I headed for the post office to check my box and to mail my husband's driver's license renewal. As I was preparing to write the check I noticed it said that it takes 8 weeks. I decided he should do this in person and just checked my P.O. Box instead. I had two packages waiting - a dvd and two books. It's Christmas in January. :) One of the books is "What to Expect When You're Expecting" for my youngest daughter who is now expecting (about 9 weeks now) and is due at the end of August.

I came home and had some lunch, checked my e-mail and facebook, etc., chatted for a short bit with my dear husband, and then headed for my post op appointment. When I arrived, I noticed that I'd forgotten my purse and was afraid I would not be seen without a copayment. As it turned out, you don't need a copayment for post op. Phew!!! Fortunately, I wasn't pulled over. :)

As I was waiting, I started reading "The Orphaned Anything's" book that I had just received. Before too long I was called in and saw the surgeon. He had me lie on the table, and then he looked at my incisions. He said the "bumps" were normal. I told him I wasn't really concerned about that. Then I mentioned the sharp pains that felt like I was ripping or tearing something. He said I probably was, and something about scar tissue and adhesions (scar tissue actually was what I was thinking) and that it happens, and it will usually be sore for a day or two and it wasn't to worry about. It's a good thing, because I woke up today, stretched really big and "tore" something else. Just when I think I'm better! For the most part things are better everyday, and yesterday the surgeon sent a note to my doc saying that I'm o.k.

So, I'm officially o.k.

If the surgeon really knew me, he might want to rescind that. ;)

Peace out,

Monday, January 26, 2009

Four Chords, 36 Songs

I saw this posted on Dan Castady's facebook and thought it was pretty cool. So, I thought I'd share it as well:

O.K. so some of the vocals get a little crazy, but you have to admit it is a pretty good demonstration.

Friday, January 23, 2009

When I'm Alone

I'm sitting here at my computer desk ... alone, well, unless you count Mollie who's in the other room taking a siesta. Anyway, I started listening to Brandon Heath's
Song, "When I'm Alone" and there is a line in the song that really just touched me a whole lot.

You know, sometimes when you are alone, and you have these certain thoughts, you wonder if you are the only one who feels that way, and then someone like Brandon Heath sings this: "...but sometimes I get scared that somehow I'll cease to belong anywhere.." and you realize that this is where you are at, and that you really aren't the only one that feels that way.

I first heard of Brandon Heath when he was touring with Bebo Norman. I was working catering for that show. In fact, I am usually not the one that does the whole thing, but the people who usually planned everything were both back in New Orleans helping with the Hurricane Katrina clean up. So, I planned the meals, bought the food, and was in charge of preparation. So, I was a little dismayed when 6 days before the show I ended up sick. Of course, I worried... I was worried about making Mute Math sick as I fell ill just after their show. I consoled myself thinking that the show with Bebo was nearly a week away, and that as long as I wasn't running a fever or coughing I should be mostly over it by then. That was on Sept. 30. Fast forward to October 4, the day before the show. I coughed the entire night. I couldn't go, I couldn't not go. I had all the food. It was a disaster, but the funny thing is that this show had been bathed in prayer (I was praying desperately, and a few others had been praying as well) and I felt strangely calm. The meat in the freezer wasn't thawed out, so I had to do a cold water thaw before leaving. I downed more dextromethorphan (sp)than anyone should (yes, I did follow dosage recommendations, had a zillion cough drops and throat coat tea. Things went wrong, but they were all handled and with surprisingly little stress. I made way too much food (usually we also fed some of the people from the church, but things were more closed off for that particular show, and no one ate a lot, suprisingly), but the food was loved. I was worried the whole time about making others ill. I only had to go outside and cough one time which was miraculous. All of that long, involved story to say that I saw Brandon at the kitchen and warned him about my illness. His comment to me was that "he loved germs." LOL I've loved him ever since. :) Then when it was time for the show, Bebo introduced Brandon as the man with the "stupidly beautiful voice." I had to agree. CD's do not do his voice justice and he has an amazingly beautiful voice.

After the show, I was able to pose for photos with everyone. I followed the tour blogs, etc., for about a month and prayed no one would get sick. No one did. I was relieved. :) I did have bronchitis, but I did recover after a round of antibiotics. LOL

At any rate, I recommend the song. Here are the complete lyrics for anyone interested"

"When I'm alone, the faces they come and they go
I wonder if they think I've changed
I wish I could stay
and be where you are
The countries and cities so far
This is my dream and my gift
but sometimes I get
Scared that somehow I'll cease to belong anywhere
So I need you when it all starts to show
When I'm alone

When I'm alone
I sleep late, it's crazy I know
The world's only passing me by
I guess that is why
I'm tellin' you now
That I haven't figured it out
The depth of the things that I've missed
that leave me like this
Scared that somehow I'll cease to belong anywhere

So I need you
when it all starts to show
When I'm alone

Is it true that you can find me anytime
Cause I'm feeling like I'm there it's about that time
Cause I'm scared that somehow I'll cease to belong anywhere
So I need you
when it all starts to show
When I'm alone
When I'm alone
When I'm alone"


Hebrews: 13:5
"Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have ; for He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER * DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER * FORSAKE YOU,"

Peace out,

Monday, January 19, 2009


O.K., I am ready to be completely healed now. LOL I guess it is unrealistic to expect that a week after surgery I would be ready to get back to normal. After all, the doc did say if I was working that I'd be off 2 weeks. Fortunately, I'm still on furlough.

While I am much better, I am still pretty sore. I still really can only sleep on one side, which is interfering with my sleep somewhat. I'm on a really weird split sleep schedule now that I have to somehow get back under control.

Yesterday was rough, but today has been better. I think perhaps I overdid things a little on Saturday. Fortunately things have been better today. And for the first time in a few days I actually feel really hungry for something besides oatmeal. I need to go to the store.

Isn't this exciting? LOL Really, there isn't much else happening in my life right now. I watched a really weird version of one of the CSI shows this morning, and some weird game called Trivial Pursuit, read a little, did a few crossword puzzles and am generally bored.

I have a little bit of a Bible Study to do this evening and some prayer time at 2 a.m. as part of a 24 hour prayer chain.

Some of the media coverage of Obama's inauguration (coronation?) has really almost turned me off to it altogether. Some of the rhetoric I've seen on the event coverage almost makes him sound like the Messiah. I'm sorry, but no matter how one feels about Mr. Obama (hours away from being President Obama) he is not Jesus Christ, and the linguistic comparisons I'm seeing almost make me bristle. (Please note, while I don't agree with Obama on many things, this is not necessarily his doing.) On the other hand, I have to admit I am not seeing anything that really separates Obama from any other politician other than he speaks better than most and he has perhaps more charisma. I guess I've become rather cynical.

O.K. Now that I've stepped into it with both feet.. I think I'll leave it at that.

God's blessing,

Friday, January 16, 2009

Day 5 after surgery

This morning I am up, way earlier than I intended. Mollie the dog thought she couldn't wait an hour to go outside. So, I got up and put something on besides comfy pj's today. I still picked something soft, a teal velour pantsuit, as I am still definitely sore, but it is way better than day 1 to be sure. I am still not sure what to eat anymore, but I've been eating a lot of oatmeal because it just sounds good and it's easy.

My daughter has a doctor's appointment this morning, so I am going with her. She is picking me up in a bit. At least I'll be ready to go. I really need time to flat iron my hair, anyway, and it's heating up as I type. Yesterday morning I took a shower and went back to bed with damp hair, so my hair looks like something out of a horror movie. ;)

Anyway, I am very slowly getting better. The bruising around the incision is starting to lighten, and I can almost lay for a brief moment on my right side --
almost. Never take small things for granted. My body really is tired of being able only to rest only one side.

I made an appointment for my follow up on Jan. 27 in the afternoon.

I was invited to take photos for a local band opening up for Rookie of the Year on Jan. 23, but I don't think it would be a terribly great idea, especially since the venue has no barricade to hide behind. It's also my husband's birthday. I feel kinda badly since this is the second time I've had to turn them down mostly due to just bad timing. They really have a lot of potential, and are nice people.

I have a ticket to see Anberlin and Between the Trees a couple of hours from here on the 31st, and I am starting to question my sanity if I go. I figured I will wait until the 27th and then decide. I obviously will not be able to stay long in the front, if at all. I may contact the venue to see what the setup is like. I was there once last year, and the venue ended up not being ready, so they moved it elsewhere. I've never seen the inside. I would really like to see Between the Trees again. It's been a while.

Anyway, nothing much exciting to report: only that I am still alive, and slowly but surely recovering.

Peace out,

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Surgery update

Just going to post this real quick. Not sure I should be on yet.

I got home yesterday about 4:30 p.m. so from the time I arrived at the hospital until arriving back home again was about 7 hours. I was 1/2 hr. early getting there, was admitted, prep was done 1/2 ahead of schedule, so then I had to wait about 1/2 hr. from doc.

Anesthesiologist talked to me about anesthesia. I mentioned anesthesia and extreme nausea ran in my family and it was an issue, but he said it was common and wasn't too concerned. He said they'd put a tube down my throat and the only way I would know would be a bit of a raspy throat. Maybe it wasn't that easy, however. I have a small bit of a fat top lip (not really visible except to me, but I can feel it) and my bottom lip feels like I bit it or something.

I was told by hubby that surgery went well, though he's always way to sketchy on details. It's like pulling teeth. Ugh!!! When I came to in recovery, it wasn't long before I felt some really bad abdominal pain. The nurse seemed a bit surprised because the pains were lower, not where the surgery was. She gave me morphine in my iv, but ended up giving a little more because it was still bad. It took the edge off most of it. It was still there a little, but mostly gone when I left. At any rate, I managed to get my gown off, and asked for the kidney basin. I missed with part of it, so I had to be cleaned up. Then I gingerly got dressed. On the way out I tried to go to the bathroom, and just ended up filling the little kidney basin twice.

I did make it home, to find out my name wasn't on the pain med prescription, and they couldn't call it in, so hubby took me home and then went back to the hospital.

As it turned out, I took it one more time, had lots of nausea and finally when the meds wore off I decided it was tolerable pain (mainly if I move) and the nausea was worse. I took one more nausea pill, waited a bit and had something to eat. I have managed to keep all food down. This afternoon, I am quite groggy, but o.k. I feel like someone kicked my sides in rather like some tv detective that gets to close and gets the stuffings kicked out of him. LOL But it's mostly when I move, especially turning to the sides. In fact, I need to get off here because I don't think typing is helping!

Anyway, I've been on here to long. I am doing well, just recovering. Thanks to those who prayed for me! I appreciate it greatly!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Tomorrow is the Day

At 10 a.m I am supposed to report to the hospital to have my gallbladder removed.
I am a bit nervous about it, but I wasn't feeling actually scared. I think I am most nervous about getting all the preop instructions right, getting to the hospital, what to wear, and having some things done at home so I won't have to worry about it later - timing mostly. I have friends praying for me.

And then I start having second thoughts because of things I've read, and I am talking to someone at church who's husband did a "gallbladder purge" instead, (had to do it twice) about 5 years ago. Because I think the circumstance is somewhat
different, I'm not sure that would be the best thing for me, but should I have tried it? I hate these second thoughts.

I used to sidewalk counsel outside abortion clinics and the one thing I would tell women is it's still not too late to change their minds. Just because you have an appointment doesn't mean you have an obligation to undergo surgery. So, I was thinking that I need to be careful to remember that. Still, my WBC was high, and maybe it should have been out already. I have a 2 cm gallstone (not exactly tiny) and things haven't been right for a while.

I know I will have to change my diet, either way. I am already trying to work on that end of things. In the end, I know I am planning to go ahead with the surgery, but I hate all of the doubts.

I think I will leave this one in God's hands and pray for the best. HE knows what it is. I have no idea. So, if the surgeon suddenly can't be there, maybe I'll take it as a sign? LOL

Pray for me tomorrow.



Thursday, January 08, 2009

Happy, Happy Birthday Baby...

Happy Birthday Bethany!

My baby is now 25 years old. And yes, for those of you who do the "new" elderly math, I had her when I was 4 years old. LOL

On January 4, 1984, I was at home on a Sunday morning having pains. It really felt more like a bladder infection than labor, and I figured, "Oh great, I'm about to go into labor, and I have an infection." To make a long story short, I was in labor. It was a cold January morning in North Highlands, California, and we really couldn't afford to keep the house overly warm. I woke up, went to the ladies room and told my husband I didn't think I was going to make it to church today. I was right. I didn't make it to church.

I didn't make it to the hospital, either. She was born an hour and 10 minutes later at home. A few minutes after that, there were firemen in my bedroom wearing full gear (they had been called to a fire, but ended up at my place) and two ambulance drivers. Looking back it was somewhat comical. My husband always said he wanted to deliver the baby. He got his chance. LOL The ambulance guys cleaned her up and then we took an ambulance ride, sans sirens, to Roseville hospital. The hospital had been trying to push the sibling program so my older son could be there. As it ended up, he was outside in pj's directing the ambulance and her sister Dee was there. For years after she always talked about babies being born with blood on their forehead (as if it was the most natural thing in the world) and this was what she knew about babies. It's funny how things work out sometimes. And so it was that Bethany came into this world, and how we both had our very first ambulance ride on the same day.

And I'm quite sure Bethany will be thrilled that I related this story. LOL

And she really isn't a baby any more, I suppose. But she is my youngest child.
Trust me, they grow up way too fast.

Happy Birthday Bethany.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

A farewell of sorts... so long gallbladder

At 1:45 p.m., I had an appointment with the surgeon. We were discuss the fate of my gallbladder. The verdict was that I have a gallstone (a 2 cm gallstone, to be exact, which I was told was a rather large stone - as well as the fact that even though it's the only one on the ultrasound, it could have "friends") and there were three treatment options given to me. The first is to basically wait it out with a pretty good chance of it recurring within 2 years, or to try to break it up with medication, and most of the time surgery ends up being necessary down the road, and the third option is to remove it (with is not without possible side effects.) I opted for removal. I figure surgery is better now than later, and since the gallstone incident on December 26, I've been queasy off and on. I've also cut out all but a really, really small amount of fat and while I need to cut my fat intake, it's ridiculously low right now. Anyway, I did ask for a copy of my blood work info. from the hospital, and when he saw that my white blood cell count was 13.5 (ref. 3.6-10.6), and he said he probably would have kept me. He was on call that day, so if I had seen him I probably would have been admitted.

Anyway, I was concerned about having to go back to work soon, and having to wait a long time to get into have the surgery done, but I am able to have it done this Monday!!! It's a relief that I don't have to wait too long.

So, come Monday, my gallbladder will be history. Prayers welcome. :)

Peace out,

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Going to the Dogs

So, I did make an effort this afternoon to take some dog photos. I did get a few, but I think I really need to go out a little earlier when the lighting is a tad more even. It was really bright in the sun, and much, much darker even with a little shade, and it was pretty much one or the other. I'm hoping I can get out when the lighting is a tad more even, if I can stand it. Unfortunately, the weather has been in the teens today, and according to Yahoo right now it is 8 deg. F outside. It's too cold for man nor beast. LOL

Anyway, here are the pics I was able to take of Mollie.

And this is one I took of Rocky.

And one of Daisy Mae:

I took a few other miscellaneous outdoor shots - a few that are o.k., probably nothing to write home about. LOL Like this one, for instance:

Hope you like them.

Oh, btw, the mystery of the unknown artist has been solved. The song "20 Cities" is by The Daylights. I knew it was very familiar. LOL BTW, if you haven't heard The Daylights, DO check them ought. They are very good!!!!

20 Cities

O.K., so I am listening to "unknown artists" on my Zune (I tend to label the artist manually, but for some reason it doesn't leave artists labelled quite often) and I ran across a song entitled, "20 Cities" and absolutely love it. It is definitely familiar, but I just can't place the artist. Usually I can plug in song lyrics and pull up just about anything, but I've tried alls sorts of portions of the lyrics and the song title, with no result whatsoever. So does anyone know who does this song? It's gonna drive me to distraction!

These are the lyrics:

If there's an ocean, if there's a valley if 20 cities stand between us
Keep holding on, You'll make it through, I promise I'll get back to you

What can stand between us, not tomorrow not today
And if a shadow falls down on us then we'll laugh in it's face
And if a shower starts to flooding, and a spark becomes a flame
We won't let it touch us not tomorrow, not today.

If there's an ocean, if there's a valley, if 20 cities stand between us
Keep holding on, You'll make it through, I promise I'll get back to you

What can stop us now, no surprises, no shame
No angels and no devils are gonna to take this away
And the highs won't rise above us and the lows won't change a thing
From here on out I promise no suprises, no shame

If there's an ocean, if there's a valley, if 20 cities stand between us
Keep holding on, You'll make it through, I promise I'll get back to you

If there's an ocean, if there's a valley, if 20 cities stand between us
Keep holding on, You'll make it through, I promise I'll get back to you

Keep holding on, you'll make it through, I promise I'll get back to you.
Keep holding on, you'll make it through, I promise I'll get back to you.

Very pretty song, and I know I'll be kicking myself going, "oh yeah" as soon as
I find out who sings it, but if anyone knows can you please fill me in? LOL


P.S. The next song that comes up on my Zune is "Taken by the Storm by Article One. It's an awesome song also. :)

New Year's Resolutions

I really didn't start out to make any resolutions this year, but I think I may make just a few. The first one is that I really want to get a handle on this messy computer room. Then I hope it will spread elsewhere. This is the worst room (ever) so if it is under control, I think good things will follow. LOL

Anyway, here is a new pic of my desk. I know it probably doesn't look like a lot of progress, but trust me, it is. The stack at the back of my desk is half of what it was. The "junk" next to my keyboard used to be mostly papers, now it's a few books some dvd's and a couple of papers. Still haven't figured out how I will sort and store all of my dvd's, but I think that will be tomorrow's project. I figure if I do something everyday, I will make progress. I already emptied a basket and threw away two trash bags full of trash, mostly paper.

Anyway, my second resolution is to finally find a good home for Mollie the dog.
Mollie is adorable. She's about 3 years old and is a black and white cocker/basset mix. I have to tell ya, she's a tad neurotic in that she tends to attach to a female in the household and barks/growls at others. For some reason I think it is just because she's a little fearful. For this reason, though, I am not too sure really small children in the home would be a good idea. I do think this is overcomeable if someone spends the time to work with her a little. She is house trained but she will sometimes go if she smells urine from another dog. Otherwise, she will jump up, bark and drive you crazy if she needs to go out. She likes to give me baths. She just cleaned my feet. (Yuck, the things dogs will do. LOL) She's been pretty much an indoor dog here, but she was outdoors during the day and inside at night when my daughter had her. The reason I have her is that my daughter had too many dogs, so the city cited her for it and she had to give Mollie up. I have two other dogs (I am only supposed to have 2) and Daisy, the chocolate lab, doesn't like competition, so they don't really get along - hence the reason why Mollie is usually indoors. Anyway, I already feel she is too attached here, so the sooner she finds a new home, the better. I took a few cell pics of Mollie, and I blogged about her a while back where there are some better pics. I think tomorrow, I'll try taking a few good pics of her with my better cameras. I really want to take some pics tomorrow anyway.

So, if you or anyone you know could make a good home for Mollie, please let me know. If you are not really close by, then don't totally rule it out, either, as if there is a way, (and I like you) it still might happen. With a lot of love and attention, I know Mollie will be a great dog for someone!!

And my resolutions for Monday are to finally get ahold of my doc,to get an appointment for Daisy's vaccinations, and make a trip to the post office. LOL
I think I need "daily resolutions." LOL

Peace out,

P.S. I still want to do a 2008 recap eventually, hopefully before 2009 ends.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Six more minutes...

Six more minutes and the first day of 2009 will be officially behind me. So what did I do for most of the day? Sleep. You got it, I slept the day away. Well, techically I didn't go to sleep until well after 6 a.m., but I don't think I got up until around 4 p.m. I missed most of the daylight today.

I did get toast the New Year's entry with Martinelli's with my husband.

I did get a load of dishes in the dishwasher.

I did shred a lot of paper I didn't need - slowly but surely making a dent in this huge mess of a computer room of mine.

I attempted to say Happy New Year to my top 40 friends, but never finished.

I suppose today I should have done more. And it would be a good time to reflect on the events of the last year .. but that will have to wait until tomorrow. After all, I wouldn't want to ruin my standing in the Procrastinator's Club.

Happy New Year and Peace Out,