Friday, February 27, 2009

Attempt at Creativity

An aching hunger
pulling me along like an endless current
Whirlwind sucking me in
around and around
feeling dizzy 'til my bearings are all but lost
Dying but not to self
trying to fight but down for the count
one, two, three...
Struggling to get up
wanting to win -- this battle

It might need a little work. I had rather a skeleton of this and wasn't sure I
was going to do anything with it, but I decided to try something with it after all.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Trying to Stay Positive in a Negative World

Me and Flat Stanley for my daughter's nephew.

I want to apologize if I've seemed a little down lately. It probably aptly describes where I've been. Being ill can really wear you down quite easily and I have been giving some thought to the really good things that have happened as well as those less fortunate things that seem to be taking up way too much of my attention lately.

For instance, I am about to finally become a grandmother. Granted, the circumstances aren't perfect, but I am still anxious to meet my grandchild at the
end of August.

I have seen some good concerts in the last few months. Part of me thinks I shouldn't have gone to all of them, and unfortunately, I may have to cut back for
a bit, but I also think they have helped me to keep my mind from dwelling on the negative so much. In that way it has been somewhat cathartic for me. Some of the memories I will have as long as I have a memory.

I have a very close, albeit dysfunctional, family that I love.

I attend a great church. :) My pastor shares my quirky sense of humor, although I sometimes worry that other people won't get it. LOL He loves his wife and his family, and I love them all.

I have a house, as messy as it is, and it is a blessing; especially since I hate the cold with a passion. I think God has not sent me to Siberia for a reason. :) Thanks, God, I really am grateful! I do have a heart for people who go there to minister, though.

I do have a job that is somewhat flexible, although they keep trying to change that.
Right now, that is what I need, though.

I have a great husband who puts up with my foibles.

I have a Savior who loves me and died for me, and will never leave me nor forsake me even when He has had ample reason to do just that.

I have much to be thankful for, and I need to remember this always.

I used to be better at making lists. Sometimes I find it helpful to make lists of the positive when the negative seems overwhelming. I am long overdue.

And soon, it will be springtime. :)

Hope you can see much positive in your life now. I'm getting there. :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

O.K. I have to say something...

I often enjoy Bill O'Reilly's show, often agreeing with him, sometimes not. He does have the potential to go off the deep end on occasion. However, I think this time he has gone way too far!!

I am referring to the story surrounding Nadya Suleman and her 14 children. From the very beginning (even without all of the facts) O'Reilly has been railing about how these children would be neglected (I am from a large family, and by his reckoning one might think the Duggar children were neglected as well.) It seems like nearly everyone has missed the point that she didn't expect all of the embryos to implant, so I don't think her plan was to have 14 children. Like Nadya, I'd be unlikely to want to undergo selective reduction (of course, for the same reason I'd be reluctant to consider in vitro, period.)

I do think Nadya will need help. I'm also a firm believer that unless the kids are really and seriously endangered the state should stay out of the family. O'Reilly showed the home and said that based on that the state should step in. It was not neat and tidy and somewhat bare in a lot of ways, but hardly unhealthy looking. I suspect that O'Reilly has never seen photos of homes that have had children taken away due to the environment. I have. We were asked to look at the conditions of those homes in some of my early childhood education classes. There was open trash and waste on the floor, animal feces intermingled with bedding and clothes. Unlike Suleman's place, which had lots of open floor space and looked relatively clean - not spotless, not perfect, but hardly worth state intervention.

I might agree that Nadya is not totally living in reality here, but that alone does not mean her children will be abused. I think there is a right to feel that our taxes shouldn't be supporting this, but the children are here now. I have a hard time believing that the children's grandparents want these children released to the state.

Maybe someone should pay her for her story if they are so blasted worried about paying via taxes. But from what I am seeing now, people are suggesting she shouldn't be able to get financial help from anyone? Make up your mind, people.
Criminals have been paid for their story, is Nadya worse?

I suggest before O'Reilly makes such a radical suggestion, he should do a little research on the children's protective services in California. Why would anyone want to recommend that those children be placed in that system sans any real abuse?
Maybe if one of those 14 gets a bad foster care home, O'Reilly will be willing to take responsibility? Not holding my breath on that one.

I have rarely seen such judgmental hatred of someone as I have of Nadya. She has the children now. I think she needs support and help now more than condemnation.

Everyone of those precious children is a miracle. I hope they do well. Carting them all off to the state, is not a way to ensure that outcome.


P.S. I know there are many wonderful foster homes. However, I also have a friend who's kids were molested in foster care. Her kids were taken out of her home because of a medical condition and she had to fight hard to get them back. IT did permanent damage. You don't take kids away from their parents lightly, period!!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Wake me when it's over

Dec 26 I am diagnosed with gallstones. Jan. 12 I have my gallbladder removed. Monday I came down with the flu and my head wants to explode. Today the dog took off while I was holding the leash and either bruised a tendon and/or nerve and
i am wearing a brace for about a week and icing 3-4 times a day. Seriously, knock me ou t and wake me when it's over. This took forever to type. At least my arn isn't broken.

Monday, February 02, 2009

I am doing a bit better since my last blog. Saturday I drove 2 hours to see a local band by the name of Mury, Between the Trees, Madina Lake and Anberlin. It was a good concert and a long day.

I've been exceedingly sore (especially my neck) for two days. Today I have a sore throat, stuffy sinuses, and am definitely sick. I was hoping it wouldn't happen.

Anyway, this is my rambling recap of Saturday's show (as posted on the Switchfoot boards):

I got to the venue (The Icon) a little before 11 a.m. At about 11:11 a.m., a group of 4 arrived from Oregon and they had driven 15 hours. One of the guys didn't have a ticket. I'm not sure what happened with him. I hope he got in. I know I called the promoter because they usually hold a few tickets at the door at the Avalon even when they are sold out, so I asked them and I was told they probably would maybe 20-40 people. Then sometime in the morning one of the guys said they might do a few cash sales. However, if someone came up who was in a group or not in line already, they just said they were sold out. Even though I was the first one there, 2 guys thought they had rights to the front of the line because the rest of us stood a few feet back to get some sunshine since we'd been there all morning. That kind of annoyed a few of us.

Anyway, Anberlin's bus arrived around noonish. When they finally started filtering out of the bus, I saw Stephen and gave him a few things I had for him, which he seemed to appreciate. I asked him if I could get my SLR in so he had me check with the road manager, and I did. He said he would look into it and get back to me. (I checked back once later, but he never did get back to me, and I didn't want to keep bugging him. I'm sure it wasn't his top priority. LOL) There was a pawn shop across the street and at one time or another, all or most of them checked it out. I thought about it, but not while they were there. One of the guys from Oregon checked it out for me a little later and said they didn't have all that much. So, people kind of came and went for a few hours. I talked to Joey once to see if he had seen a photo I had of him. He hadn't seen it yet. (Note, it was a photo of Joey and Hoopes in 2003.)

Sometime between about 2:30-3 Between the Trees bus arrived. It was a while before they all came in, but the first place Ryan, et al. went wasn't to the venue, it was the pawn shop, which made me laugh. I said "hi" to Ryan when he went in the venue, and told him a friend said "hello", and then they were loading in for a bit. Diane & Tuyen got there a little bit after BTT, I think. I have forgotten the time sequence there.

I kept asking and telling the venue people about Nicole ALL day, and was told she'd probably be able to get in by several people. Finally this big guy came out and I asked him what to expect and then I told him about Nicole. He said they weren't selling any tickets (apparently the radio station said otherwise earlier in the day, also) and I told him that I called them and what I was told and that Nicole drove 4 hours, and he took her aside, but then I didn't see her. I was a bit freaked, because I was going to let her use mine if she didn't get in, and he implied he was going to get her in, but we were separated, and I didn't know for certain.

I did end up in the front. The good thing is I could see. The bad thing is that Stephen's vocals weren't very loud at the front. I could only hear them about half the time. But when he sang The Unwinding Cable Car with Ryan, it was clear as could be and they both sounded amazing. I talked to Ryan later, and he said that they had wanted to do that for a while, but had only done it at the last two shows. Since The UCC is probably my favorite Anberlin song, it made the whole thing almost worth it just for that one song alone.

I liked the local opening band (Mury), but I've seen them a few times before. The language can be a bit rough on occasion with them, but the music is good.

Between the Trees was awesome, although I wish I was on the other side of the stage so Ryan's back wasn't to me when he was on the piano. LOL

Madina Lake was interesting. I didn't think their music was horrible, actually, although the vocals weren't real easy to discern at times from the front. They were definitely high energy and got the crowd acting rather crazy. They had people getting up on stage, and security put a stop to that because there was no surfing, and I think people were surfing up there. (Really, there was a short stage, no barricade, so surfing didn't seem very feasible.) I couldn't figure out why Madina Lake was the main opener rather than BTT, but I'm guessing it was their energy onstage.

After the show, I was able to get the set list - yea for set lists!!! The encore isn't on it. I'm not 100% sure they totally followed it, though. I'll have to try and remember.

I did get some pics, not outstanding (lots of hot spots on some of them) and it was hard to get anything with the crowd. The guy next to me kept leaning way forward, so I had a time getting pics around him. The downside of me being so short. LOL

At least the crowd wasn't quite as bad as at Salt Air and though I'm really very sore (I probably shouldn't have been at the front 3 weeks after surgery), at least I wasn't really hurt. It was pretty stinking hot in there, though!!!

Anyway, rather rambly, but it was a good show. I mosly wish a few things would have been handled more fairly and that I could have heard the vocals a bit better. Just curious if they were heard better in the back.

This is a pic of some of us from the Switchfoot boards:

Photo of me and Ryan (of Between the Trees):