This is rather how I'm feeling lately.
Do you ever feel like you really don't belong anywhere? Sigh...
Hmmmm.... feelings I hate:
I hate feeling like I'm being tolerated rather than liked. How do you know?
I hate feeling that I'm a pest, even if I am.
I hate that I can't just trust that maybe someone might actually like me.
Again, how do you know?
I hate that I don't know what to do most of the time lately. I thought I had all this settled so long ago... I hate feeling unsettled and uncertain so often.
I hate that I know lots of people, but hardly anyone comes to my house. Yea, it's messy. I know that isn't the reason, since someone would have to be here to know that. LOL. I mean how many people do I really invite? I'm not really upset with anyone over it. I just feel isolated sometimes.
I hate it when I feel like I overstayed my welcome. I need clear good-byes and I never feel like I have the timing quite right.
I hate that I feel like crying for no reason whatsoever - usually a good sign that my hormones have gone completely whacko. Hopefully, this too, shall pass.
I really hate feeling patronized.
I hate feeling stupid - a feeling I have a real struggle with lately.
I love feeling accepted, and sometimes a little guilty that it's important.
O.K. so that's out of the way... for Christians, do you ever wonder if anyone really is making it at all out there - or even coming close? I'd love to know since it would give me hope. I know people will always let me down. God doesn't, but I want to see people really making it - whatever that means.
American Dream has been on my mind a lot...
This ain't my American Dream
I want to live and die for bigger things
I just don't know what or how. God, please show me.
P.S. I know this is risky to post, but maybe someone else can relate
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