Friday, September 28, 2007

Spare Change - Respect & Relationships

This is my response to AJ regarding Respecting husbands. I thought I'd go ahead and share it here.

The title is my feeble attempt at humor. LOL

BTW, Ed hasn't come up with his response yet.

"I've been giving a little bit of thought to what you said about respect. First of all I don't think you can or should divorce the concept of a woman respecting her husband from the verses that come before it and follow it. We are all (Christians) to submit to one another in a previous passage.
The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. In that context, submitting, allowing the husband authority and looking up to them is not really such a difficult task. It's not that I can't make it difficult sometimes, I most certainly do. The way it should work is that the husband has the final say, and the wife honors that BUT, the husband is going to fully consider (while submitting to God) how it will affect her, what is in her best interest (not his own) and what she wants. If not, how would he be loving her as commanded as well. If any part of this is not right, the apple cart is rather upset, so to speak. It basically boils down to doing nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit and considering the other better than yourself.

I do think we are still to look up to our husbands and appreciate them. We should recognize what they do. We should not belittle them.
I can't say I've never been guilty of violating this, but I strive to improve. I know that I had allowed myself to get so thoroughly stressed before we moved up here, that I probably wasn't such a nice person for my husband to be around. I appreciate so much that he didn't quit on me.

But what I loved about your comment to me is that I had never thought to ask my husband what I could do to respect him. He has said he will think about it. That was my reaction as well.. to think about it.

Anyway, I can tell you that I was out last night promoting Mute Math's upcoming concert here. I know that sometimes it seems bothers my husband if he is at home and ends up eating a can of soup, and then I go out to fast food and have a burger. It doesn't seem right to him, and it probably isn't. He wouldn't necessarily think I shouldn't go, however. So, last night I got home late and I called to see if he had eaten and if he wanted me to pick something up. He said he'd had some soup, and nothing sounded good. In the end, I opted not to stop and get anything for myself since he had to eat what was here that should be good enough for me. So I told him that I came home and had soup for dinner and why. He seemed to appreciate it. It isn't that he wanted to deny me, but he appreciated that I was concerned and acted out of respect. It's the closest story I can think of. I hope it makes sense.

I will let you know what Ed has to say about respect when he comes up with a response.

God's blessings,

P.S. I think the reason this can be such an issue for me is that it is so discouraging to see Christian marriages dissolve when I can stay married to a non-Christian (and yes, I love him dearly.) Shouldn't it be easier to commit when you both know Christ? I know being a Christian doesn't mean we become perfect all of a sudden - at least in practice, but why so many Christian divorces? It shouldn't be! Anyway, I was making scrapbook pages for Sanctus Real, and their song "Don't Give Up on Love" came to my mind. I so appreciated it. It's completely spot on.
This isn't to beat up on someone who is a Christian because their marriage has already failed. It's water under the bridge so to speak. Something to think about for those struggling now, I hope, or who plan to marry later.

I think my next rant will be about happiness. LOL


Andrea said...

I totally look up to you! W00W!

Melanie said...

Thank you so much, but believe me, I'm probably the chief of sinners (to cite Paul). LOL ;)

Andrea said...

nahhh I refuse 2 blieve that! haha

AJ said...

you rock, melanie! :) the verse that comes to mind..."abide now faith, hope, and love..but the greatest of these is love."

p.s. that is one of my favorite verses..i actually have the chinese symbols for faith, hope & love tattooed! :)