Saturday, October 13, 2007

Random Thoughts

O.K. so one of me reasons to begin blogging in the first place was that I missed writing, and I figured it would be a good place to start. So here is a random thought I may someday rework into poetry... or maybe it will just be a random thought forever. But it's a another kick off point, perhaps. I am really feeling this now, though.

God is Good...
I am not.
I hate disappointing people
and I often do
Maybe I just want to be perfect
And that is God's place
He completes me, but I keep forgetting my other half
How can you be perfect if half of you is neglected or missing?

Random thoughts, part 2:

I love music... and I love musicians.
I can't tell you exactly why.
Well, that's partly true. Some people you just like, and others you know
exactly what it is you love about them. Take Roy of Mute Math. I like him a lot because he is so passionate about the things he loves, and it shows. He's also amazingly talented. (If he reads this I will be really embarassed.) LOL And Darren King... the wonder and fun of a child, yet not irresponsibly so (at least that I can see) and he seems to love people genuinely. He is compassionate. I like those things about him. Boyd (Eisley dad), loves to chat, really talented and also seems to be passionate about the things that interest him. He pays a lot of attention to details -- like making the set lists "pretty" because he knows fans may end up with them. Jon Schneck because his sense of humor is so like my husbands it's scary, plus he's just very nice and thoughtful.. at least to me. Sean (of This Providence) because he is so easy to talk to, loves to read and we know some of the same music - in other words, common interests; David of Daphne Loves Derby because he's friends with Sean (JK well, that has some bearing, it's just not why I like him) because we like some of the same things, we both love Olive Garden, Betos and good music, he can talk about anything, plus he has a killer smile. LOL Matt Thiessen because of his wonderful sarcasm, Dan Castady because he is so fun, funny, good with people; and can that guy hustle! You should have seen him at Boise Warped Tour! LOL Todd Agnew because he exhibits the peace of God, and strives more than anyone I know to be humble, Mark Lee, because he is so attuned to being creative and he has sparked that interest in me again. I keep thinking there is a reason I love artists so much... the creativity, for sure, but it seems to go beyond that. I love music, and I'm sure that's a part of it, but I just care about them, even the things that aren't so glamorous.

I love people in general. But getting to know a few artists (what parts they can or will share) has probably played a part in feeling a bit less intimatated by those who aren't on stage. I want to see musicians as real people, not idols, but have to admit sometimes I can be as star-struck as the next person (guess I'm a real person after all, as well.) ;)

Anyway, I worry a lot about overstaying my welcome, because I'm really bad at goodbyes and usually hate driving home. I either talk too much or have so many things I want to say, nothing coherent comes out. LOL It's hard when you feel like you have 5 minutes to talk to someone every 6 months (sometimes longer.) It's gotta be doubly hard on their end trying to keep track of all the fans they meet and not just wanting to go crash on the bus instead of visiting afterwards.

Anyway, there are lots of people that aren't artists that I certainly love. I love my husband. He has an uncanny ability to read something and put it into practice. I'm guessing he's a more visual/kinetic learner. I am more auditory/kinetic (big surprise there?) LOL He has a wonderful, but rather silly and strange sense of humor, and he puts up with my antics. I love my pastor who is such a stickler to the text in Scripture when he teaches, loves to help people learn how to study the word for themselves, has a strong sense of who he is, or so it seems to me, and a pretty amazing sense of humor. And his wife who is one of the most creative people I've ever met, and so much love and energy about her as well. I think every child in the church loves her, and vice versa. I think she also has that sense of wonder about things that just tickles me.

I really do love artists, though. And I think it is genuine. I mentioned to someone that I wonder if I was should somehow make a ministry of this and musing about how that would happen. She said, "Oh, so you are going to turn your addiction into a ministry." See, I like her, too. She made me laugh. LOL So... not sure where this will all lead me. Maybe, nowhere, maybe helping with youth because I like some of their music (but I might have to get used to screamo?) LOL, or a ministry directly to bands of some sort (I don't mean preaching to them, in case anyone is concerned that is what I mean here - it isn't.) In the meantime, I muddle along as best I can.

I'm not sure how much sense this makes to anyone, or if anyone even cares to wade through my ramblings. But somehow, I just wanted to jot it all down while it was on my mind.


anne said...

Hey Melanie,I will be praying for you as you ponder what God would have you do.It is wonderful that you are open to following his call on your life and if he has something planned for you through the "music Ties"He will direct you.God bless, and thank you for enriching our lives with all your " ponderings and wanderings "

Melanie said...

Thank you, Anne. That's very sweet of you. :)

AJ said...

melanie, this is BEAUTIFUL! :) there is no coincidence in your passion for music & artists...before you were in your mother's womb, God fashioned you with those wonderful passions & desires (psalm 139: 13-18). it is sooo cool to hear someone speak from their heart's see how God is using the gifts & passions He's given you to love Him & to love others. :)

i'm reminded of a quote from one of my favorite books (Wild at Heart by John Eldredge)...he is specifically writing to men here, but i believe it can be applied to us as well...

"What is written in your heart? What makes you come alive? If you could do what you've always wanted to do, what would it be?...don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive because what the world needs are men (and women) who have come alive." :)

thank you for sharing your is beautiful & passionate!

p.s. these are a few of my favorite books (next to the Bible :)) that i thought might encourage you in your journey...Wild at Heart (John Eldredge), Captivating (John & Stasi Eldredge), LifeKeys (Jane Kise, David Stark, & Sandra Hirsh), and Decision Making & the Will of God (Garry Friesen).

Andrea said...

aww i think those ppl shud read this. I'm sure you would make them really happy!

and I think everything is for a just gotta wait and see.