Everyday should be Thanksgiving

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. I have met some amazing people, seen amazing shows, I have a job, a home, food to eat, a church I love, I've been happily married for 33 plus years, I have 3 grown children, a beautiful baby granddaughter, and another one who will be born any day now. I am thankful for many fond memories, and a crazy, but loving extended family. And if that isn't enough, I belong to a God who loves me and covers me with grace.

How can everyday not be thanksgiving?

Wednesday I was up somewhere between 8 and 8:30 a.m. to put the turkey in the oven. According to the temperature charge on the turkey bag, it would take 5-1/2 to 6 hours to cook the turkey. Then I noticed on the turkey bag, that the time for a 24 lb. turkey was 3-1/2 hrs. instead. Of course, I see this when it is out of the package, and ready to go. Timing would be tricky. So I figured out what I'd do when it was done when I didn't have to be at the church for Thanksgiving dinner until 4 p.m. I went back to sleep and woke up after about 3-1/2 hours to check on the turkey, which was definitely done cooking. I opted to keep it in the oven on warm and hoped it wouldn't dry out. Judging by the amount of juices in the bag, I figured it was a safe bet.

At 4 p.m. Ed and I arrived at the church. Others had already arrived before us, which is a good thing. :) We took the turkey, camera, etc. in and waited for my daughter to arrive. We had a very nice enjoyable dinner. I took quite a few pics.
The food was all pretty good. I ate carefully, but a little more than normal. There were a few really sweet, sweet potato dishes that were amazingly tasty. One of them was more like dessert, almost. I splurged with a little bit of apple pie. The nice thing was that there was a portion where most of the crust was gone, so it ended up probably being a little lower fat. I'm sure I exceeded my usual sugar levels by a good bit, though. Anyway, it was good food, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, even though I was limiting myself. Bethany and Ed left not too long after dinner, and I was a little sad because I really wanted to see Avalyn a bit more. Jonnie, and Beryl read a few pieces on Squanto, and Thanksgiving from different perspectives, and I stayed and visited, took photos, and helped a little with clean-up.









Normally, after the event people have stayed and plotted Black Friday. IT's always been a good time. This year, though, people left a bit earlier, and I stayed while Jonnie made up a schedule of what opened when. The ads were all out on a table, so I looked through them a bit. Then I said my goodbyes to Pastor Mark and Jonnie, and headed for home.

When I got home, Bethany was still there, so I was able to see that sweet granddaughter of mine a little longer. I got to change her diaper.. lucky me. LOL
Then Bethany and I tried to decide what to do for Black Friday. We could neither one decide. I was supposed to call if I decided to go, but at 3 a.m., I still hadn't made a decision. I just worked on uploading and editing photos in the meantime.

I wanted only a couple of items from Black Friday sales, and they were in different places. As it turns out, Staples had a couple of things I wanted, but I didn't see their ad until I went through the e-mail later, so really late, I decided to just head over for Staples.

I arrived at Staples at about 4:30 a.m. En route, I noticed the huge line at Starbucks drive through and it made me laugh. Before I left I told Ed where I was going, and said I'd leave if there was a huge line. There were less than 20 people waiting, so I stayed. Sears was already open and it was just a hop, skip and a jump away, and a couple of gals held my place in line while I went over to take a peek. I must have looked rather ridiculous with my hoodie up around my head, and wearing a blanket. LOL (I had someone take a pic of me in my getup, but for some reason it didn't save.) :(

The only thing I found that I really wanted at Sears was this adorable dress for Avalyn that was only $9.60. So I bought it. So far, Sears is the only place I've seen some cute holiday dresses in the 0-3 mos. size. Then I went back and waited in line. I chatted lots with those around me and froze. It was rather chilly. At one point a guy in a van and his adorable little girl were selling hot chocolate. Later on, a Farmer's insurance rep. came by and gave out free chocolate with his bus. card. Clever people. LOL
Dress on the right was the one from Sears.. the other came from K-Mart:

At 6 a.m., the doors opened and the place was soon crowded. I found all of the items I had come for (an 8 gig CF card for $25, and a 4 gig CF cfd for $12.99, an AT&T cordless phone system with $15 instant rebate and $35 rebate, some CDR's and DVD-R's, etc.) I decided to kill time and wait for the neverending line to subside.
It wasn't happening, so I decided to bite the bullet and get in line, but not before I found a Universal Power Supply for $19.99 (didn't realize the $30 savings went to my Staples Card, though, until after I bought it, but still not a bad deal.) At one of the service counters, there was a sign to check out writing checks only, and hardly anyone was in it, so I wrote a check and escaped the huge line. $239, later, I left Staples and headed for home.

Before I even was able to catch any sleep, Bethany called, and wanted to go to Kohl's and K-Mart, which we did. She wanted an exercise bike for Christmas/birthday at K-mart, so I got it for her, and a few small items, including a dress for Jocelin who should be born any time now.

The line was long, but it wasn't too bad a wait. Then we fed Avalyn, and headed for Kohl's. I was able to get some warm sweaters in my size (that were not cardigans.) I haven't been able to find them anywhere. After Bethany and I finished shopping, we went to get in line. The line kept going, and going, and going.... and wound around the back of the store. By this time I hadn't eaten in a while, and it had been well over 24 hours since I'd had any sleep. I almost didn't make it and had to sit down a few times.
We finally made it through the line more than an hour later. Baby girl was starting to get kinda fussy, and so was I. LOL The checker was really nice, but not very fast. We made a bee line for the car. I told Bethany, that if I had found warm pull over sweaters anywhere else at all, I would have left the line. She said, "I probably would have let you." LOL
My KOHL's sweaters:



On the way back to my place, we stopped at Arby's and bought something for lunch and took it back to my place. We visited for a while, and after Bethany left, I just passed out on the couch.

I am really grateful for the things I was able to find on Black Friday, and I think Thanksgiving should be everyday, but praise God Black Friday comes but once a year! I have a feeling the retail staff agree about now. LOL

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving Day!

Today I cried for someone I don't even know...

I am sitting here feeling rather melancholy already. A migraine has started, I think. I spent the last two hours asking myself if this is really a migraine and should I take something for it or wait and see. I hate taking meds. So the debate goes on.

I'm trying to figure out the details of my trip to California, and it's all a jumble in my mind. I have so much to do that inertia has all but set in. I have items that are too large for the suitcase. The dishes should be done (well, maybe a torch to the house would solve the problem - and yes that was intended sarcasm) and a scrapbook to finish up, though it's nearly complete. Everywhere some little detail stops me and I freeze until the minutes tick on by and become hours. I'm excited and nervous, but I can't feel motivated. Inside I want to panic and move, but outwardly, I'm stuck.

I am also very tired. I actually left work early on a Friday night using sick leave. I tried very hard to stay, but I was falling asleep. My rates were falling and I would wonder what I just typed on the page - checking and rechecking and hoping I wasn't doing anything really outlandish. (In case you are wondering, I am a data transcriber.) My stomach hasn't been right for about a week and a half now, but I'm rather afraid to go in again. I just had a gastroscopy a few months back, and I don't really want another. So I wonder what can they really do? I'm sure exhaustion plays a part in my current mood and perhaps even with the other problems as well.

So, in my current state of inertia, I decided to check on a few blogs I frequent. First I read Zach's blog again. I keep reading his last blog trying to sort through it and still remaining speechless afterwards. His blog seems somehow "lost" and today that's pretty much how I feel. I'm sorting through things in a way that I thought one should have mastered by the time they left adolescence. Things that used to seem clear somehow don't anymore. I haven't really lost my faith or beliefs. Those are intact. What I have difficulty sorting through is where those fit in and why I have such a hard time being anything but the fallen human being that I am. And who else, besides God, can I trust anyway? I used to be so trustworthy and dependable, and I feel so much less capable of both trustworthiness and dependability. I used to be relatively out of debt, and now I'm not. So, my plan seems to be to just give up and go with it. Sometimes it seems the harder I try the worse it gets.

None of that matters really, in the long run, except I want to be responsible, I want to be charitable, I want to be liked (sometimes too much) ... I think there are too many "I's" in that sentence. LOL

So, then I went to see if Jon had posted any new blogs without any real expectations.
Instead he had posted two. The first one I read just hit me. Casey of Hawthorne Heights had passed away. I hadn't heard. It was really eerie. I didn't really know him. We hadn't met, but I had seem him play in concert on two occasions. The first was in Las Vegas at the Nintendo Fusion Tour. The second was at the Boise Warped Tour. I didn't know him, but I cried. Sometimes I think it's easier to cry when I don't know someone too well. When I know them too well, I go into survivor mode. I know a LOT about grief and grieving, but I can't seem to apply it to myself. But Casey's death made me cry. I feel sad that we never met, and never will. I feel sad that his family must really be reeling along with all of the guys in Hawthorne Heights. I can't even imagine what they must be feeling and I'm not sure it would be healthy to even try, but my heart goes out the them all.

So, I sit in the middle of this mess that is me at the moment, and cry for someone I didn't really know and hope he is at peace. But in the midst of my current mish mash of emotion, I still really do know that there is God that loves me, although as usual I can't figure out why; and I grieve for those who try to sort through it all without that hope.

Life is not always easy. I don't think anyone, not even God, ever promised that it would be. I am my own worst enemy. I make too many bad choices. But I have hope. Sometimes I just need to be reminded.

I think now would be a good time to make a list of all the things I am thankful for. God really has blessed me. If I am miserable now, it is mostly of my own making.

My hope for all who read is that you will find peace with God, peace with yourself, and be thankful for what you have. It's so easy to be distracted and miss these things altogether.

--Melanie