When is a sacrifice really a sacrifice?

The Hard Questions

As a Christian, I am called to give an answer to every man for the hope that lies within me. That hope, is the saving capability of a Messiah who paid the penalty for my sin. A savior who died on the cross and was subsequently raised from the dead to conquer death for eternity.
Of course, that doesn't mean that I can totally grasp all that there is to know about God or even the salvation he offers. God is incomprehensible. How can that which is finite (the human mind with it's limitations) completely grasp the infinite? I cannot conceive of something that has always existed, yet logically something must have been here to "start" everything else. It would take a leap of faith at least as big as the leap the leads me to God to deny the existence of a Creator. I've always heard that we are granted a measure of faith by God. I'm not sure how true that is, but one thing I do know is that we seem, as humans, to put our faith in something. If not God, then something else.

Still, it can throw me off to be confronted with a question that I haven't really had to answer before. Sometimes it isn't even that I don't know the answer, but that the answer simply hasn't been put together in my mind in a way that it can be explained to someone else. It's one thing to know something for yourself, and another entirely to communicate it adequately to a third party. Even so, I still love the fact that the questions of that nature challenge me to think, to know what I believe and why, and to help me learn to give "every man an answer."

A few weeks back (or was that more than a month ago?), I was asked one of those difficult questions. An online friend asked what the sacrifice was if Christ knew he would be raised from the dead when he was crucified. What did he sacrifice? It was a legitimate question; and one that started me thinking. At first I wasn't sure what to say. I know that Christ did sacrifice on our behalf, but I really didn't know how to convey the depth of that sacrifice in a meaningful way to someone else.

After careful consideration, the first thing that came to my mind was to answer the question with a question. It is something Jesus did often, and the Apostle Paul was pretty adept at asking rhetorical questions in his letters. So my question is this, "What sort of sacrifice would it be if you were to be put to death on the cross knowing that you would be resurrected? If your life is forfeited only to be regained later, is it still not a sacrifice? Wouldn't it be suffering enough? What if you were innocent of any wrongdoing? Would that matter?" O.K. So that is more than one question.

Perhaps it would help to define exactly what it is that "sacrifice" means, so I looked it up on http://www.dictionary.com/. Several of the definitions given do, in fact, fit the definition of sacrifice in the sense of Christ's sacrifice via the crucifixion.
Sacrifice (n) 1. the offering of animal, plant, or human life or of some material possession to a deity, as in propitiation or homage2. the person, animal or thing so offered3. the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.4. the thing so surrendered or devoted(Defs. 5 and 6 didn't apply at all.)
I've read what it's like to be hung on a cross. It's hardly a pleasant experience. http://www.answers.com/topic/crucifixion?hl=jesus&hl=cross
To be beaten, mocked, rejected by those closest to you, and left naked, publicly humiliated and tortured in one of the most cruel and painful deaths imagineable to me would be sacrifice no matter how one puts it whether that death later results in resurrection, it still qualifies as a sacrifice in my mind. But from what I have read, it goes deeper.

I just finished reading Story: Recapture the Mystery by Steven James. This is how he puts it:
"In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus knew he would be experiencing the worst punishment hell had to offer. That's why his agony was so real and his grief was so deep. Jesus had begged God for another way to rescue his bride, but the all-knowing God could think of no Plan B. If there had been any other way, he wouldn't have let his Son die. God isn't sadistic or vindictive. He is love itself.
So, in the tragic and glorious logic of love, God knew of no other way than this to both punish sins and to forgive them, Justice and mercy met on the cross.
I don't think the deepest scars, the greatest pains Jesus felt that day were from the barbed whips flaying his back, or the nails biting through his skin, or the thorns slicing into his scalp, or the thirst clutching at his throat. I think the greatest wound of all was this: he felt the pain of a soul abandoned by God. What deeper pain is there than that! Jesus felt the flames of hell lick at his spirit.
For you.
That was the final thorn.
The serpent coiled and struck, and the venom of our choices run deeply through the soul of Jesus. Our vanity and selfishness and pride and misplaced priorities sent Jesus to die and to suffer the very essence of hell while his body hung pinned to the wooden beams."

And that is a sacrifice that I don't think we mere mortals can even begin to comprehend -- at least not in the here and now in these fleshly bodies, so steeped in corruption and bound by time, space and all things finite. We have only one chance to be free and that is to accept the sacrifice made and freely given on our behalf.

1 Corinthians 1:18 states that, "The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God."
The message of the cross is difficult to totally grasp, because it isn't the way we normally think. We want to dig our own way out. We want to build another tower to the heavens and pretend that there is no God, or at the least imagine that we can somehow do better on our own. If we could just be good enough.... So far our efforts have fallen short, as they always do. That's why there was indeed a sacrifice to pay a debt that we could never have paid for on our own. The debt was great, the sacrifice was great and Christ paid it on my behalf. How can I not be grateful?

--Melanie

Jon McLaughlin, Matt Wertz concert, Feb. 8, 2007

Another round of concert photos

This Providence, Matt Wertz, Jon McLaughlin

This week I went all out and attended two concerts in the same week. Thursday I made the Trek to Sandy to see This Providence, Brighten and The Brobecks. This Providence is quickly moving up on my favorite bands list. If you've never heard them, check them out here:
http://www.myspace.com/thisprovidence Brighten and The Brobecks weren't bad either.
I met Lauralee there quite early and we had lots of great conversation while we waited. In other words, I talked her ear off! After the show, we were both able to interact with the This Providence guys and have some great laughs, too! I can't wait for them to come back again. I love everything about them: the music, the lyrics, their stage presence and their company.

Saturday, I ended up at Kilby Court in Salt Lake City with my ticket to see Matt Wertz in hand. I had heard of Matt Wertz because he toured with Jars of Clay. Now the tour never came any where near me, mind you, but I because of it, I had heard of Matt Wertz. 24tix.com a local ticket vendor sends me regular notices of upcoming events, and I saw Matt's name on the list. It was a plus that the concert was on a Saturday, so I knew I wouldn't be working, and that it was only $10. So, I found Matt online and listened and liked it. So, Saturday, I ended up at his concert. I tried not to come quite so early, but traffic was moving well and I arrived at 4:30 p.m. I ended up waiting for a bit in the drizzly weather to ask about the camera policy for the evening. Then I headed off to find a bathroom, a snack, and some hot caffeine free tea. I waited a little longer, and got a little wetter, listened to sound check (sneak previews are nice as Matt played two songs.) The young woman in charge recognizes me from other concerts and she tried to get me to have enough sense to come in out of the rain. She was worried about me. LOL I stayed put for a while. In the meantime, the door time was moved back 1/2 an hour. I found out I could park a little closer, so I went to move my car and dried off a bit. So that's how I ended up about 10th in line instead of first. I gave her a little bit of a time over it, so next time I need to make sure she knows I wasn't serious or upset with her. That would make me feel bad. I did stand at the front. The venue is quite small, and I believe holds about 200-250 people. It ended up being rather full. Oh, and my camera was able to gain entry with me. I didn't even have to buy it an extra ticket. LOL ;)

The concert itself was amazingly good. Jon McLaughlin is an outstanding pianist and vocalist and I loved his music. At one point he sang Happy Birthday to a young woman in the audience. I managed to capture the look on her face in a photo and she just was beaming. Not everyone gets an artist plus 200 people to sing to them on their birthday. Then Jon finished up the rest of his set and it was time for Matt to sing for us. Jon was still around, though, as he played keyboards for Matt.

Matt has a wonderful voice and is very personable on and off-stage. I enjoy his recorded music, but I have to admit that the cd doesn't do him justice as he is far better live. The sound was good, the music was good, the audience was enthusiastic and it was a great night. In the end, I went away a few dollars poorer but with two new cd's in hand, an autographed Matt Wertz set list, lots of photos, and memories. I'll have to do that again sometime soon.

--Melanie

P.S. Photos to follow soon...

Travel photo/essay contes

I've entered a travel photo contest, and it looks like people vote and rate your photo. It's from the klove cruise to ensenada. There is an essay that you have to write to go with it. It's not my best pic ever, because I didn't have my really good camera then, but hopefully it will work. There are a few nice pics up on that site. Anyway, if you want to give me a vote, the link is here: http://suitcase.concierge.com/groups/the-conde-nast-traveler-dream-trip-contest/dream-trip-2007/la-bufadora1?p_ret=%2fgp%2fgallery%3fstartIndex%3d0%26groupId%3dAAAAARTkkrMAAAAAABBpqA%26showFeatured%3dfalse%26so%3drecency%26br%3d I'm not sure what it will require from you when you go to vote. You may have to register. A screen pops up to send this to friends, but I don't like to give out other people's info. I'd rather it was voluntary. However, if you go and vote for my photo, I'd be grateful. It is called, La Bufadora, and the screen name is woman4life, of course. LOL

Copeland again. :)

I have been listening to Copeland's cd: Eat, Sleep, Repeat quite a lot lately. It doesn't hurt that you can hear a few songs whenever you visit their website, http://www.thecopelandsite.com.
I don't seem to ever get tired of this cd. If you haven't listened to it yet, you owe it to yourself to check it out.

--Melanie

Yet one more photoblog - Daisy Mae

This is actually one of my two dogs. I didn't set out to get any pets, but I have managed to inherit two reasonbly large dogs, a terrier mix of about 50 pounds, and Daisy Mae, the chocolate lab. Daisy was sleeping outside using an old stump for a pillow, so I ran downstairs and grabbed my trusty SLR. I tried out the new photo harddrive cf card and it took so long to load that I missed the main event. I guess the new firmware on my camera is incompatible with the firmware on the photodrive, and I am sending it back to the manufacturer for a fix. At any rate, I still got a few cute pics through the kitchen window. It made the photos a bit "hazy" to photograph through my dirty windows, but adding contrast seems to have done wonders.

Photo Blog, Bowling for Soup, Melee, Over It, Jan. 18,2006

Photo Blog Cabella's, Jan. 17, 2006

I love Copeland

I don't really have anything earthshattering to report nor do I have any particularly meaningful insights. However, I am in the midst of adding a signature banner to some of my message board personas and I thought I'd see if it works here. You never know until you try. I may learn something. LOL

God's blessings,
Melanie



P.S. It works!!! And, btw, I DO love Copeland. If you haven't heard them, definitely check out their music. :)

Children's games, first revision

Children's games

Now You see me, now You don't
I cover my eyes and I disappear
One eye peeking through my fingertips
Are You there?

I touch You and run away
I can feel the distance growing
Are You there?
You chase after me
Why do I run so hard? What am I afraid of?

Now I'm looking for a place to hide
searching, searching
But where can I go?
I'm spending too much time in the shadows
But You can see me all along
Like a father waiting patiently for his child to come to him.

I tug on the rope with all my might
I pull too hard and my hands hurt
I let go too soon and I fall
Am I too bold or not bold enough?

Like a child I tiptoe across the railings
Afraid of listing to one side or the other lest I should fall
Who will be there to catch me?

Am I playing spiritual games?
Do I try too hard, or is the problem that it's me doing the trying?
The center of my universe is crumbling.

Tell me how to grow up.

I'm still not sure what I think of this. My writing skills are rusty. But something made me think of this. I'm not sure if it's finished or not and even less certain if it has any value, but it's a pretty good description of where I oft times find myself just the same.

Children's games

Am I playing a spiritual game of peek a boo?
Now you see me, now you don't
Have I really affected anyone for you, God?
Am I too bold, or not bold enough
Am I trying too little, or am I trying too hard
Or is the problem that it's me doing the trying?

Or maybe it's tag. I touch you and run away
You chase after me
Why do I run so hard? What am I afraid of?

Oh now it's hide and seek I play
But where can I go to hide?
I'm spending too much time in the shadow
But you can see me all alongLike a father waiting patiently for his child to come to him.

Tell me how to grow up.

Feeling Down

Sometimes I let little things get me down. Most of the time the little things turn out to be much ado about nothing. One of the things that tends to get me down the most is being misunderstood, especially if that misunderstanding causes someone else aggravation or dismay.

Sometimes I think this happens a little more online than in general conversation, because it's easy to misread a response or lack of response . I know one time I asked someone if they were mad at me because he seemed kinda not happy and then something happened online coincidentally not long after I posted. I thought maybe I had done something. Then I asked him if he was upset with me, and he thought it was because he hadn't returned an e-mail.
I guess it was kind of silly on my part. Sometimes online you just can't pick up the phone and get it settled. In that case it leaves me unsettled and a little down.

Just like last time, it's probably coincidental. I shouldn't fret over it, but I do.

Now that I've probably confused just about everyone reading this blog (or maybe there is no one reading to confuse), perhaps I should try hard not to dwell on this and catch some zzzzzzzzzzzzz's. After all it's 7:39 a.m. and I haven't slept yet. That probably isn't helping, either.

Off to dream of better things, I hope.

--Melanie

In my earlier blog I posted that tonight would be the night to get the Christmas season in gear for me as I had a row 2 seat to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I was not disappointed. In fact, I could only think of one word (and those that know me know that I can be very wordy) and that word was AMAZING! Al promised last year that they would be back again this year with more lights, and he was true to his word. The light show is worth the price of admission alone. However, the music is absolutely astounding. I was able to get to the venue early enough to strike up a few conversations. The guy behind me wanted to hear Wizards in Winter as it is a favorite of his. I had to admit it is a favorite of mine as well. The very first song to open the show was Wizards in Winter. I just looked at him and said, "there ya go." LOL The storyline that runs through the first half of the concert was not much changed, if at all. However, there was less of a "classical feel" this time and more emphasis on the rock. There were a few changes to the cast this year with new female vocalists, the addition of Kelly Keeling and Mad Max (both outstanding vocalists) and a new keyboard player who was completely and unbelievably -- well -- amazing! Anna Phoebe, the electric violinist with the futuristic looking pink violin was (surprise) amazing! In fact, they all were absolutely amazing from Bart's bum to Al's wonderful guitar work, the vocals, the keyboarding - especially the dualing keyboards at the end between Al's wife and the new guy, to the narration to the lights which you have to see to believe. And did I say I love Tommy Farese? :)
After the wonderful show, I bought a few cd's and took my concert program to the autograph line and waited for quite a while. I talked probably both ears off the gal behind me in line. Last year I kind of was scolded for taking to long and chatting.. especially to Angus, I believe. I mentioned this when I got to the end of the line and He just laughed and gave me two guitar pics. At one point Angus and Anna go to the back of the arena and play on a stage that elevates above the crowd. Last year he didn't look so comfortable up there. I was to the front, but a friend of mine mentioned it to me, so this year I watched for that carefully. I mentioned this to him and he really got a kick out of it, or at least he seemed to.
Oh, and during the show, Al said that if you took Alice Cooper and Al Pacino and smacked them together you'd get this -- and then he motioned to Tommy. It was pretty funny because there could be an element of truth in that somewhere. So, I just thought of that program where you upload a pic and it matches your face to celebreties. I wonder if either of those would come up if Tommy uploaded a pic? I mentioned this to him, actually. Yes, I'm getting bold. LOL
Anyway, for me autographs are secondary. They are a way to tell the cast/band of TSO just how wonderful I thought the show was and to connect to the artists a little. I loved every minute - as brief as it was. And, as it happens, I will cherish my autographed program.

At the risk of sounding redundant, I still say, if you have never experienced TSO, then I highly recommend that you remedy that situation post haste.

They will be in Vegas tonight, and then from there to Denver and Colorado Springs.

--Melanie

P.S. There are two different tour groups for TSO, one more to the east, one more to the West, but I hear both are equally amazing.

The Christmas Season officially starts

I've had a hard time getting used to the idea that Christmas is just around the corner. I sort of caught a glimpse of it during the advent message at church last Sunday, but I just can't relate to the time of year yet. So.... I'm now all set to get out the Christmas music and I start the whole thing off with the Trans Siberian Orchestra concert tomorrow night. I'm really excited as this is the second time I will see TSO and I know what to expect. The music is amazing, the storyline sweet and the light show is just simply unbelievable. Last year we were promised even more lights this time around. I'm curious to see if that's even possible. LOL

If you've never listened to TSO, I highly recommend that you find some of their music and remedy that situation post haste!

I don't know if I'll do more with this or not. It probably needs some tweaking, if it isn't hopeless. LOL I haven't written anything remotely lyrical in some time, so this is my first stab at it in a while. The last thing I did that was even close to that was to rewrite the lyrics to Hey Jude to go with a Bible Study on Jude. It was sort of a joke and I sent it to the pastor. The next day they played it at church. I must have been ten shades of red. LOL Anyway, my new effort such as it is:

"Why am I so skeptical Is it because I've been burnt
Why am I so skeptical when you're the one that I have hurt
I wish the glass was crystal clear Instead Im here in this dark place
Could I even stand to see you Could I look into your face

I need to be broken But I am so afraid
I need to be broken
But it will take your work of grace
Why is it so hard to see you?
Is it because my eyes are blind?
Why is it so hard to feel you
It's not because you're hard to find
I wish that I could sense you near me
Instead I stumble through this dark place
Could I even stand to see you
Could I fall into your grace

I need to be broken
But I am so afraid
I need to be broken
But it will take your work of grace.

It's my own sin that separates me from the love you freely give."

Theological issues and my viewpoint

I really had not intended to post about my faith and doctrines quite so much, but I was listening to my pastor speak this morning. The pastor was talking about hope, and hope that is real and not based on just wishful thinking. He mentioned the difficulty one translater had in translating the word for faith into a particular language. He did give the particular language and the name of the translator, and I suppose I should have had a pen handy to jot it down, but by the time I found a pen it had long passed.

At any rate, the translater settled on a word that means to lay one's whole weight upon something (or someone.) At that point my thoughts diverged a bit from the morning's sermon and the following hit me:

If we lay our whole weight on Christ, then Christ will take the whole weight of the load. Then he oft times will lay those things that we need to do something about back onto our hearts. We place our cares on him, and he shares with us. It's a sort of a communication. In other words, it is a relationship. I think that is what is missing in a lot of religion - this sort of relationship with our Lord and our Savior. I think he longs for that sort of relationship with us. We need it.

"I wanna be Your hands I wanna be Your feet I'll go where You send me I'll go where You send me I'll be Your hands I'll be Your feet I'll go where You send me I'll go where You send me And I try, yeah I tryTo touch the world like You touched my life An I'll find my way To be Your hands"

Taken from Hands & Feet, Audio Adrenaline, Underdog cd.

Anyway, there is a power in just wishful thinking or just hoping that something will happen even when it is not solidly based in reality. It is just so much more powerful when you can have faith - trust in something that is real. And the results can be astounding.

God's blessings,
Melanie

The next blog will probably be about music. LOL

Currently reading...

I have had the very great pleasure of belonging to Mark Lee's book club. For those that do not know, Mark Lee one of the guitarists in the band Third Day. The book club has been a godsend. I have a great love of books and reading, but of I had been having a difficult time finishing a book. I've been rather good at starting them all along. I'd almost quit reading, apart from articles and such online.

The very first book I tackled and completed was a rather easy to read but very profound book called "Praise Habit" by David Crowder.

Currently I am reading The Courage to Run by Jim Ryun. It is written in a daily devotional style. I did get a late start on the book as it took a while to find it and have it sent to me, so I am reading a number of days at a time. All that to say that I found a little bit of a gem on Day 15. The title of the inspirational piece is simply "Duty." Ryun writes of John Quincy Adams and how after losing his bid to be re-elected as president to Andrew Jackson , Mr. Adams went on to serve in Congress. Every day in Congress Adams delivered petitions calling for the abolition of slavery.

According to Ryun, "On day a newspaper reporter interviewed Adams. In the interview, the reporter asked if Adams ever grew discouraged in his battle against slavery. He looked at the reporter and simply said, "Duty is mine. The results are God's."

Sometimes we don't see the end result of what we are called to do. Adams never saw the end result or the abolition of slavery, but he did play a key role just the same. Somehow I find that thought quite encouraging.

Galations 6:9
Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

2Th 3:13
But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good.

Heb 12:3
For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

My blogs will not always be so "devotionally" oriented. :) But this was on my heart today, so I thought I'd post this as a reminder to myself.

God's blessings,
Melanie

Getting Started and a little about me

I am used to blogging on myspace, but somehow I feel a strange sense of not quite knowing how to start on a fresh "canvas" so to speak. How do I start to relate about the things important to me, and will anyone really care? :)

I used to good at writing, but I've gotten so out of practice that it doesn't come as easily as it once did. I am most at ease answering rather than initiating. I can give a good logical response to just about anything if I have an opinion about it; but for all of the logic, the less logical or ethos about me frequently wins out in real life. Oft times that is a good thing. Sometimes it's not. I like to try and keep things in balance. Balance is a good word for the most part. On the other hand, there are times when life probably calls for things to be a little out of balance. Knowing when is a little trickier. I'm still working on that one.

My schedule now would probably be known as an out of balance thing in my life right now. It's 4:48 a.m. and I have not gone to sleep yet. I guess it's not so unusual as I work until 1 a.m., but currently my days and nights are pretty much completely topsy turvey. Someone at work asked if I was a vampire jokingly. I had to laugh.

I guess what that means is that I should end my first blog and get some sleep. :)

But before I do, a little about me:
1. I am a Christian first, but unfortunately I have a long way to go before I truly reflect Christ.
Todd Agnew has a tee shirt out that says simply, "Be the Moon". The moon has no light of it's own and reflects the sun. The goal is to reflect it well.
2. I love music. I couldn't tell you why. I'm not a particularly gifted musician. I have a decent voice, but not always perfect pitch. Most people when they hear me sing will say I have a nice voice, but it's not consistent. Still -- I love to sing. BTW, I think that is the name of one of my favorite Copeland songs... well... sort of.
3. I like photography, but I still have a ways to go before I consider myself very good at it. I especially love taking photos at concerts. BTW, I still can enjoy the concert just fine while taking photos. So many people have told me it's kind of nice just to enjoy the concert sans cameras, but I find myself wishing I had a camera to capture that moment when it is not allowed. I like capturing moments. Sometimes I do it better than others.
4. I am an empty nester. My three children are grown. I love it that they are grown. I miss the days when they were little, but there is a whole world out there and life to live after your kids grow up.
5. I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up.

God's blessings and good night,
Melanie