I have so much I want to say lately, and then I open up the blog manager, and it all evaporates. I'm not really sure what that means if anything. It may just mean that I need to take a journal to work with me. Tonight I read a few pages of a book at the end of my break and I had some wonderful and most likely deep thoughts. I had an entire "composition" in my head with my thoughts very neatly composed. 5 minutes later, I don't think I recalled any of it. Tomorrow, I think I'll take a journal and write things down - if I have any more deep thoughts, that is. At least that's how it will work in theory. LOL

I know I've been thinking a lot about faith and cynicism lately. I am quite capable of exhibiting both, sometimes in the same day... maybe even in the same hour. I really do believe God exists and I do love God, though sometimes I don't always demonstrate it like I should. I want to feel it deeply and sometimes I just don't. But one of my biggest struggles sometimes is just prayer and faith. I always have faith that God can answer a particular prayer, but I often don't really have faith that he will choose to in a given circumstance. Oh ye of little faith? What I do know is that I should still pray. I was reading in Romans once where it talks about the Holy Spirit interceding and it dawned on me that the Spirit interprets our prayers not only when we do not have the words to say, but also the Spirit interprets our prayers in light of the will of God. So, even when I don't pray exactly with that will, we have an interpreter, and an intercessor before God. I, for one, will try to remember to be grateful for that. I'm quite sure the Spirit has His work cut out for Him in my case.

On the way home tonight I stopped at Rancheritos (aka Betos) as I was seriously hungry and refried beans sounded like the best thing in the world. I ordered my usual shredded beef taco and tostada with beans and rice. Other than that the trip home was rather uneventful. I greeted my dogs at the gate, washed my hands, and sat down at the computer to eat my food before letting the dogs in for the night (or is that morning?) I checked my e-mail, my myspace inbox and read a few of the blogs that I frequent.

I read Lindsay's blog about a mother's love for her daughter in the hospital. It brought a few tears to my eyes. I know that mom will not relax for a while. I know. I'm a mom. I'm acquainted with those feelings. Pray for that mom with her daughter in the hospital. Pray that she and her daughter will be alright, and they will make it through this.

Then, I got to Roy's blog and read how he was ill, and that he arrived home to an empty house. His dogs were not home, apparently, and one of them is missing and hadn't returned. The dog's name is Dakota. He totally loves that dog. I remember him telling me how excited he was that he was going to be seeing his beloved Dakota on the tour. He even posted video. I know he has to be heartbroken. I really cried. Even now it makes me teary-eyed. So, if you pray, this is a second request.

On the probably less important and more positive front, I just want to thank God for the fact that time off work for my trip to California has now been officially approved. I can breathe a sigh of relief in that regard. Phew!!! I am indeed grateful and blessed. I am really nervous and very, very excited about the trip. I'm ready to start packing now. Don't laugh, I just might start. LOL

I also should post something about my last concert experience with New Found Glory, et al. on Saturday. I have a few pics that I may put up, although they are with my point and shoot, and probably the worst pics I've taken all year. The camera was having a difficult time focusing in the lighting and I had to resort to flash, which I hate. I'm sure I have a few salvageable prints - maybe. I barely made it to the front by the stage and was to the extreme left It was all good until one gal kind of wiggled her way in next to me who happened to be way taller than I was. She was also the sort that reached way out anytime Jordan was within ten feet. Suffice it to say that I had to delete a lot of photos of her arm. LOL I harbor no real ill will over it, though. It was mostly just frustrating at times and at times almost humorous. ;) I didn't arrive as early to the venue as I would have liked, and then arrived 15 minutes later than I should have due to a train parked on the tracks blocking the road and definitely within easy walking distance from the venue. LOL But I did make it and had a great time talking with all sorts of people. I was able to catch Ian and Steve, and I handed Ian a photo dvd for Chad along with some Hershey's kisses for the band. It was short and hopefully sweet meeting (no pun intended, but it made me chuckle just the same.) All of the bands played well and were energetic onstage, even if some of the songs were a little on the screamy side in some cases. I managed to get the set list for Senses Fail. There only seemed to be one list for New Found Glory, and it was dead center on the stage and I wasn't close. I tried to catch up with whoever got it to get a pic, but they were long gone. I went back to the merch table in hopes of purchasing NFG's new cd, but they were sold out. I even asked the merch guy if the display had a cd in it or not. LOL No luck there. So I went to The Receiving End of Sirens table and checked out their wares. I was laughing at the merch guy as he kept trying to give stuff away to me (stickers, and buttons.) I said he wasn't going to make money if he kept trying to give everything away. He laughed. I ended up asking if the cd was very screamy and was assured that it wasn't, so I bought it. I also left with a few stickers for the scrapbook I will someday get around to finishing. ;) I hung around outside for a little bit and ran into Adam from the opening band and we chatted. I had someone take a photo of us. He seemed kinda quiet and nice (unlike his wild and crazy stage persona.) LOL In the end I asked if NFG ever came out, and he said they usually didn't. SO I headed for home. I didn't get seriously beat up, although dead center might have been another matter, especially when Jordan comes down off the stage and I really did enjoy the concert.

So, hopefully now, I'm caught up. Aren't you glad?

Here's to love, peace and answered prayers.

--Melanie